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And Then He Said, “Roast Them…”

Ok, and aside before we get started here… since I just moved in and all, I’m still not sure what colors to paint the walls, and where to place what, so if you come around a lot don’t be surprised to see lots of changes and things until I’ve settled on what I think shall be a nice cozy home for us here.  Yes, things are looking a little undone, but please don’t get all judgey, yet…. thanks xoxo!


It’s that time again…


And while I thought I would bring you a delightful retelling of our weekend festivities, but between my yellow submarine duties, and attempting to set up shop here, I’ve been woefully lacking in the delightful department.

In fact the best conversation I can hope to bring you is this…

We carved The Little Monster’s Pumpkin this weekend and the phubster and I had a difference of opinion on it.  As per usual, he may have won the battle but I won the war.

Phubs (Ph): Hey are you going to get to that pumpkin or what…

Me: Um… excuse me?

Ph: You heard me, woman (this was said with a good humored smile, and devilish twinkle in the eye)

Me: Aren’t you supposed to draw the picture on it first there genius, and what guy can’t carve a pumpkin anyway…

Ph: It’s not that I can’t carve one, it’s just that you’re sooo much better at it than I am…

Me: Or really it’s because you don’t want to have to scoop out the guts and stuff…

Ph: That may be true

Me: Hurry up and draw the damn picture then

Ph: You can’t hurry the artist

Me: Hell yes I can (mencaningly weilding pumpkin carving tool)

Ph: You realize you can’t even cut a peice of bread with that right

Me: Don’t make me shank you

Ph: You couldn’t anyway

Me: I could get a different knife

Ph: you’re so violent, fine I’ll draw the picture, can you get me a crayon

Me: (rolls eyes, make Psycho knife motion with pumpkin tool)

Ph: Fine, why do I have to do everything around here

Me: Because drawing a picture on the pumpkin is doing everything

Ph: Pretty much

Me: You really don’t want to live through the night do you

Ph: Here’s your picture, now get to cutting

Me: Ohhh I’m gonna cut something….

Ph: The pumpkin

Me: Fine… (storms off to the kitchen)

Ph: And while you’re at it, can you roast them…

Me: Roast what…

Ph: You know

Me: No I don’t know

Ph: The seeds………

Me: Oh yeah sure, why don’t I just Martha Stewart all this shit up

Ph: that would be preferred……

At this point I may or may not have thrown pumpkin guts at the phubster to shut up his tirade on pumpkin seeds. He may or may not have retalitated by picking me up and smearing pumpkin guts in my face. I may or may not have started screaming like someone was ripping off my limbs, and then choked on a pumpkin seed while the phubster gleefully laughed, until he realized I was actually choking and then he got all serious and red faced and apologetic…

Or at LEAST he thinks I was actually choking….

And that is how I wound up with a foot massage, and dinner out….

He’s totally not onto my game.

I’m a super evil master General when it comes to this shit…

The pumpkin turned out ok, and I did roast the seeds in the microwave, because I’m sort of lazy, but they turned out pretty good too. Better watch out Betty Crocker, Imma get you!

So how was your weekend, pumpkin carving, Halloween parties, pretend choking? Do tell……


About beccasprettysurethat

I cuss, I'm snarky. I'm a slave to my desk and kids. I joined a gang once, and was forced to wear YELLOW at my sister's wedding...

2 responses »

  1. Oooooooh girl! You’re so tricky! I like it a lot and will be keeping that one for my book of trickery for future man. Happy Halloween! Enjoy decorating the new place! I am still trying to decide on mine. It’s fun!

    • Yeah I am known to be a snarky little trickster. You’ll find your man soon. When you get over here to Cali try dating a Mexican–> one that doesn’t live with his momma though. HAhahaha. No seriously, the phubster is a Mexican and I love him to pieces. He’s confident, loving and pretty much wonderful 50% of the time, which I think is really saying something. Plus he puts up with me. Any decorating tips? Happy Halloween!


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