I’m so glad you found me. You see my blogger bloggypoo went fucking beserk on me, and so I had to switch it all up, and jump on over here to wordpress.com (which should not be confused with wordpress.org, I spent some time wondering why the fuck I had to download shit… I know, I am woefully ignorant today…..).
First things first and great big old SHOUT THE FUCK OUT to YOUGOTSARS! That hooker has revolutionized my world by letting me know how fucked my blog was and that I should just move over here, where all the rest of ya’ll hang out. Thanks for looking at my html and shit. You’re the bomb.
I’m assuming it’s going to take me a little while to get all comfy and cozy here, so just be patient, and thanks for making the move.
In the mean time, did I ever tell you about the time I went to Target and my son spilled something down the back of my pants and it look like I peed myself?
Oh well you see….
I had to go to Target I went to Target after a truly tragic shopping incident at Alberston’s where I was told that I was traumatizing my child by sprinkling water on her face. I thought a trip there would make me feel better, but oh how I was wrong. I gathered up the kiddos, and in we went to my very own air conditioned red and white heaven. The first 20 minutes or so were bliss, idly perusing through the cosmetics isles, checking out the kids clothes, and oh yeah I did need some more All Purpose Cleaner. I grabbed two spray bottles and sat one next to The Crybaby, just for safekeeping you know…
We continued our leisurely jaunt through the store, and then I got
entranced stuck in front a shelf of Tupperware. Glorious little plastic novelties screaming my name, begging me to run my finger over their textured surfaces (naughty little bastards) completely had me enraptured in their PBF free awesomeness. I was so engrossed that I failed to notice that with super human strength The Crybaby had lifted the spray bottle next to him and was dangling it precariously over the edge of the cart, right by my feet, and with a snide little smile threw it at me.
Since I wasn’t paying attention it bounced off of my leg, shattered on the floor and the rebound from the spill soaked the back of my shorts. The Little Monster who had been playing with a Hello Kitty Gardening set then came over, and squealing decided to yell, “mommy, did you pee yourself?!” and point at the same time.
No dignity left I went in search of the nearest store associate, apologized profusely and left, while everyone stared at me, and pretty much had a look on their face which said, “oh my god, that woman peed herself.”
Lesson learned: Tupperware is the devil.
So snarkdoodles, ever for real pee yourself, or spill on yourself so you looked like you peed? Let’s share and care…..